I've been waiting for a little while to speak on the "black lives matter" movement. It has aggravated me to see the amount of people who are suddenly experts on statistics and other people's perspectives. As a social worker I feel that I should be someone who speaks up on the recent amount of attention brought to the violence in society today. I am falling into someone who is now throwing their opinion in the ring but I hope it does add value to people's perspectives and what they think they know.
When you go to school to be a social worker you are taught to look at a problem from three different perspectives: micro (the individual), mezzo (family & community), and macro (the government & society at large). I will start with macro so I do not incite people right off the bat. For those who do not know I am a white social worker working with almost all black people in one of the most divided and racist cities in the country. I come from a unique perspective because I lived in St. Louis for much of my childhood. I was raised among a large amount of black people in St. Louis. I was taught to respect all colors. One of my fond childhood memories is being at my best friend's house and her mom saying she was so grateful for Martin Luther King. She said because of him her daughter and I could be best friends. In case you can't tell my best friend was black and it meant a lot to hear that one man allowed the two of us to be friends today.
Moving away from my friends and to Milwaukee was a SHOCK. I was suddenly in a community that was almost completely white. My family went to the black area in Milwaukee to buy school uniforms for my sister one day. While in the store a security guard actually told my family that we needed to leave the area because we would not be safe. This was not the last incident. When I would hang out with some black kids from my church people would stare into my car. We were even offered drugs at a local McDonald's. All of this tells me that change definitely needs to happen on the macro level.
Our government needs to change the entire welfare and prison system. Did you know that over half of the black men in Milwaukee are unemployed? Did you know that the "north side" (53206 specifically) has the highest incarceration rate in the world? There needs to be a revitalization of the black communities. Job training needs to be given to people in prison. I know circumstances are different in every situation but give people a chance before resorting to putting them in jail or giving them a felony. When people do get jobs do not snatch every bit of aid from them. I have watched so many people learn the hard way that aid would be snatched just because they got a minimum wage job that does not even cover rent and if you're a single mom the paycheck won't even cover daycare while you work. These are huge problems in the black community.
The black community does NOT get to blame the government and white people for all of their problems though. The micro (family, community) definitely has an effect as well. I work with women in unplanned pregnancies and the majority of the client I have worked with are black. There is a definite degradation of the family on the north side of Milwaukee and in the black community. Let me tell you there is a lack of fathers in the community. I believe the largest amount of children with different women I have heard thus far is 14. It was spoken in pride too! I have even heard the celebration of becoming "baby daddies" in rap songs by black rappers. Do you know what happens to the children of the men who create children and do not raise them? Those are the kids living in poverty because they do not have a father who can help provide. They are the ones who become "baby daddies" also. They are the ones surrounded by violence who may end up in jail or dead. The black community (and frankly all communities) need to return to embracing the family and parents staying together to raise their children.
This goes on to the micro (individual) level. One example of a black man committed to teaching about sticking with family is Obama. While I do not agree with all of his views I have always admired him as a man who "broke the cycle". He stuck with his woman and is raising his children. Not only that, he has also shown this on a national level. Our country needs black men to be fathers and husbands - not baby daddies. I AM NOT saying that all black men do not stick with their families but I am saying I have seen a prevalence specifically among the black community. Be the example and change the cycle. It is not easy but it personally demonstrates that black lives DO matter.
To the black women: Your lives do matter. One thing I have always loved about black women is their assertiveness and outspokenness. I always love how willing they are to defend those they love. I have noticed that underneath all of that assertiveness is a girl who wants someone to love them. You are worth that love. Hold out for someone who gives instead of always taking. Hold out for the man who will "put a ring on it". You and your children and your future children are worth so much. God loves you and you are priceless.
I hope that maybe his makes a difference. One final thought: What are you going to do? Please don't tell me that it is something violent because that just makes things worse! Also, please don't tell me you are going to post on Facebook or stand with a sign. Do something that will truly make a difference! Show God's love to a black person, listen to a black person's perspective without judgment, acknowledge feelings, buy lunch, and please go the extra mile rather than the most convenient way.
Recently I have been asked by several people if I would continue to go and work in the black community ("north side") or if I would now make people come to me. I will continue to go in this community because I believe there can be a change. Do I get strange reactions sometimes? Definitely. Do I feel unsafe sometimes? For sure. I believe everyone deserves to feel loved and valued - if that takes doing something that may make me uncomfortable - I will continue to do so. If you are in Milwaukee, please consider reaching out to friends of all races. Go into a community of another race. Let's work on Milwaukee being a place known for it's diversity - instead of it's segregation.
